Free At Last
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsay. Set during 9x8 - Late Admissions. "But you're just so strong all the time." Danny frowned. "Sometimes it's okay to need me." "I need you, Danny." She said, reassuring him. "Trust me, I need you everyday." COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N: hi folks! me again and I come baring gifts in the form of a new multi-chaptered story. but wait, guess what... every chapter is written. I'm not even kidding - this has NEVER happened before. i've always had something to tweak in it, but in this, there's nothing other than minor things i've missed. i am excited, this is different haha. Now, I don't know about you guys, but the episode they did in season 9 where Lindsay travelled back to Montana really, really touched me and it's stayed with me ever since I watched it. I think partially because it was literally everything I've always wanted for her and Lindsay's house was EXACTLY how I pictured it to be. (Seriously, I had to pause the episode on my laptop and stared with tears in my eyes because it was like they had literally taken the image from my head... that was probably an overshare but anyway). I have been working on this story for a few months now. And actually, I believe I was working on this story when I found out that it wasn't coming back in the fall. So this story has been hard, but therapeutic to write as well. Therefore it means a lot to me. I don't really know why that is.. but it does. So I really hope you guys like it.**

* * *

_"But you don't worry about me, baby. You just go and do what you've gotta do. I'll still be here for you. With arms open wide, I'll be your umbrella when you just can't stand the rain; there by your side, I wanna be your shelter when you just can't stand the rain."_

_-Can't Stand the Rain, Lady Antebellum._

* * *

With the sound of a loud, frustrated sigh entering the break room, Danny looked up with amusement on his face. "Tough day, dear?"

"The worst; your wife has been a whirlwind all day, Danno."

"What else is new, Flack, surely you know her well enough by now to know that she doesn't sit still for two minutes." Danny smirked. "At least I know where Lucy gets it from; I know she don't get it from me. I'm quite happy sitting at a game for two hours and not moving."

"Yeah yeah. That's real nice, Messer but when I said whirlwind I meant an angry hurricane."

"Really?" Danny paused as he dropped his sandwich onto the wrapper on the table. "How so?"

"I don't know dude, she got to the scene this morning and she was grumpy as all hell. I ended up not talkin' to her in the end. There's no reasoning with her today. Did you piss her off?"

"Not that I know of," Danny pursed his lips together. "Even when I do, she's not like this. Something's up."

"Well I don't know what's wrong with her, Danno, but she's mad about something. You better figure out what you did quick before she causes havoc."

"Yeah, yeah, I will." Danny agreed absent-mindedly. She was either angry… or upset. He'd get to the bottom of it eventually.

That was the thing about their job; he could go an entire day in the same building and not cross paths with his wife once. Then other days, they'd spend the entire day together. It was so unpredictable. She had left before he'd even woken up this morning and it had fallen on his fatherly duties to wash, dress and feed Lucy before taking her to school. He'd actually not even spoke to Lindsay other than a text at around nine thirty, saying he missed her. She'd replied with a curt I _miss you too_ but nothing else. He'd thought at the time that she was probably just busy at the scene and needed to get back to it quickly, but had wanted to acknowledge his text. But now with Flack saying what he had, Danny figured there was something simmering with her.

He'd just have to wait and see.

* * *

"Danny!" In response to his name being called, Danny looked up from his evidence and smiled in the direction of his boss.

"Hey Mac, what's up?"

Mac quietly collected a stool from the pile in the corner of the lab and moved to sit next to Danny. "What are you working on?"

"Glass from my scene. The windscreen of the car was smashed through. I'm trying to find directionality marks but at the minute everything I'm about to conclude gets contradicted right as I think I've figured it out so I'm just waiting for the evidence to speak to me."

Mac smiled fondly at something that was so uniquely Danny. For years Danny had talked about waiting for the evidence to talk to him and while it wasn't anything Mac would ever consider saying, the process worked for Danny and Mac couldn't fault that.

"Alright, I'm sorry I asked." Mac chuckled before sobering slightly, "Listen, I want to talk to you about something."

"Alright?" Danny said, snapping his gloves off and turning to toss them in the trash. "What's the matter?"

"Is everything okay with you and Lindsay?" Mac asked quietly. "I know it's none of my business but-"

"Everything's fine." Danny instantly reassured him. "Flack's mentioned something about her not being in the best of moods today though." Danny paused. "Why is something wrong?"

"No, no nothing's wrong." Mac assured him. "She's fine; I'm just… a little worried about her. I'm getting distinct vibes that something is bothering her. I wondered whether you knew? But clearly from the look on your face you're just as in the dark as everyone else."

"Yeah," Danny sighed rubbing the back of his neck. "I haven't actually seen her today yet. And we've only text each other once so-"

Mac frowned. "If I could give you an hour or two for lunch I would."

"No I know that, Mac. It's just one of those things that are out of our control. I honestly don't know what's wrong with her. Sometimes she just goes quiet. You know, when it's one of her friends' birthdays, or the day when it happened… but that's not for another couple months yet."

"Well I'm going to keep my eye on her," Mac said softly. "Not because I don't trust her… just because I'm worried about her."

"No yeah, that's okay." Danny nodded. "I appreciate it, considerin' I can't watch out for her myself. I mean I'm not saying she's not capable of looking out for herself. I trust her completely and hope you do too… it's just. Ugh, I don't know Mac."

"You care about her and love her. Just like I do. We want to protect her, sometimes from herself and her stubbornness."

"Exactly." Danny nodded. "I think sometimes you know her just as well as I do."

"No-one could know her and love her as much as you do, Danny. Us mere mortals can only try."

"You're hilarious." Danny smirked as he reached for another pair of gloves. "I'm sure whatever it is will be okay in the end."

"It always is." Mac nodded as he clapped Danny affectionately on the back.

* * *

Stretching and sighing heavily, Danny motioned down the hallway of their apartment building. After a long and heavy shift, he was nothing but pleased and relieved to be on the homestretch. Lindsay had left work hours before he had and he only hoped she was still awake. He'd seen her walking down the hallway about six hours ago and he could tell just from the way she was carrying herself that there was something massively troubling her; he just couldn't figure out what it was. He knew he'd done nothing to piss her off. She could be feeling sick and that always put her out of sorts. She could be pregnant; they were after all trying again… but she wouldn't be angry and upset about that, would she? His eyes widened as he paused in the hallway. God, she wouldn't, would she? He hoped that wasn't the case because even though she'd initiated the conversation and they'd only just started trying, it didn't mean she hadn't changed her mind… he took a deep breath as he poised the key above the lock. He had to approach this carefully. He definitely didn't want to go in there guns blazing. That'd piss her off even more. Plus, he didn't really know what was wrong. And the last thing he wanted was for her to find out that both Mac and Flack had told him she was a walking hurricane, clearly upset and angry about something.

He pushed the door open and breathed a sigh of relief when he heard quiet music playing from the living room. That was a good sign that she hadn't gone to bed; falling asleep on the couch was a different story though.

"Hey Linds," He called quietly as he kicked off his shoes. He quickly made his way to the living room. "How was your day?"

She shrugged quietly, glancing up from the book she was holding. "Okay." She replied in a quiet, sad voice. "Yours?"

"Crappy." He sighed heavily. "I missed you all day."

"I missed you too." She said, closing the book. She had her legs tucked underneath her and she had his grey t-shirt on; one that she so often slept in when she was seeking safety and comfort.

"But everything's okay other than that?"

"Danny, I know Flack and Mac talked to you." She said softly. "I'm not stupid. I'm not mad either."

"I – I didn't say you were."

"I know you didn't. You don't need to say anything. I can see it in your eyes though."

"Well, they just were worried. They said you weren't yourself."

"I'm fine." She insisted. "Your dinner's in the fridge," she said softly. "I figured you'd be hungry. Heat it up for like three minutes in the microwave and it should be okay. You might need to check it though."

"Thanks baby." He said, moving across the room to drop a kiss to her forehead. "Listen, I know you might not wanna talk about it, but I'm all ears if you do."

"I know." She smiled up at him. It was a smile he could tell was painful; she definitely didn't feel like smiling and a long time ago he would have fallen for that smile. It was a smile she had perfected over the years… now however – it took a lot more to convince him that she was in fact –fine.

Despite his disbelief in her insistence, he made his way into the kitchen and reached for a glass before moving to the fridge and grabbing his dinner that was covered in cling film. He grabbed the milk while he was at it and poured himself a glass as he made his way over to the microwave. As Lindsay had instructed him, he placed the plate in the microwave and programmed it for three minutes. As the microwave turned his dinner, heating it up, he tidied the few things on the counter-top that had accumulated there since Lindsay had gotten home. He flicked through the mail on the counter that he hadn't had chance to look at this morning and his eyebrows arched at the sight of one letter in-particular.

"Huh," he mused to himself as he read the address. The address was correct, but Lindsay's name wasn't. Monroe? She'd been a Messer for five years now. He looked a little more closely at the envelope and saw the post-mark from Montana. That made sense, he thought to himself. There'd be people back in Montana that had no idea she wasn't using Monroe anymore.

Curious to what was inside; he pulled the letter out from the already opened envelope and unfolded it, beginning to read the letter.

The microwave dinged in the background but his attention was only focused on the words on the paper looking up at him; the same words that had stared up at Lindsay earlier this morning.

He felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He felt his hands becoming sweaty and he felt sick. Memories that both he and Lindsay had shoved to the back of their mind came flooding to the fore-front; no escaping them. He could still see the way Lindsay had looked so terrified as he walked into the courtroom. He could still remember the image she painted as she went through her testimony on the stand. He could remember holding her as she cried in his rental car after they'd heard the verdict. He'd watched years of pain and suffering being released; joining them together as she let him into something that had been so desperately private.

And now, here they were again – only this time it was different.

Forgetting about his dinner and milk, he went back to the fridge and reached for the unopened bottle of Lindsay's favourite wine. They weren't big drinkers – anymore at least – but he thought that this called for something a little stronger than milk, water or tea.

"Baby," he sighed, making his way back into the living room with the two wine glasses, the bottle of wine, a corkscrew and the letter in his arms. "Why didn't you tell me?" he attempted to place the wine glasses and wine bottle on the table carefully but the corkscrew clattered onto the top, and he looked to Lindsay with desperate eyes filled with pleads of 'help!' She smiled softly at him and took the two wine glasses and placed them upturned on the table. He then proceeded to unscrew the cork, quietly waiting for a reply.

"I needed to process it by myself," she shrugged as he poured her a hearty glass of wine. "I didn't want to tell you at work."

"I know but baby, we could have talked about it."

"We didn't have the time today," she reminded him. "We didn't even get to see each other. I haven't talked to you all day and I definitely didn't want this to be the first conversation we had."

"I know but… I hate that you've been thinkin' about this all day."

She shrugged, cradling the wine glass between her hands. "I know."

"What are we gonna do?" he asked softly, sitting next to her on the couch, taking one of her hands as she placed the wine glass on her thigh, holding it with one hand.

"I'm still trying to figure that out." She replied quietly.

"I thought for sure we'd have to go through another ten appeals." He said with a sigh. "Trudging it all up again; hearing the shit he spewed about you identifying the wrong person."

"So did I."

"How do you feel about it?"

She shrugged. "I don't really know to be honest," she said as she laid her head on his shoulder. "It's what I've wanted and waited for, but now that it's here, it doesn't seem right."

"Why?"

"Because!" she implored with emotion in her tone. "Why does he get the easy way out?" he could tell she was looking for an answer. An answer she'd so desperately wanted but never received.

"I don't know sweetheart." He sighed as he pressed a kiss to her temple as she sipped her wine. "I don't know why."

"I feel like I want him to suffer in prison for the rest of his life. He stole four lives that day. He doesn't deserve anything less than rotting in prison."

"But to have him gone-"

"That makes us just as bad as he is." Lindsay snapped. "An eye for an eye makes the world go blind, Danny."

"But Linds, baby… he did a bad thing."

"I know Danny. I know he did, believe me. I was there. I saw everything that he did and I'll never forget what he did to them. He took the three most precious things from me, from their families."

"And he needs to pay for what he did, baby." Danny said softly. "When he was sentenced, we knew this would come. It's what the judge ordered and I completely agree with it. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air you do. He doesn't deserve to be here. Not after what he did. I know you don't believe in it, but baby… the pain he's put you through – if they put me in a room with him for five minutes, he'd feel pain. Trust me. He'd feel pain. He wouldn't even live to tell the tale."

"I don't doubt that." She said softly. "I just… I don't know Danny. I don't want him to be able to take the easy way out."

"He hasn't baby. Believe me. He's had six long years to think about what he did."

Lindsay fell silent, taking automatic sips of her wine every few minutes. Danny felt the need to leave her be for the time being. It was a lot for her to process and while he knew her stance, he couldn't help his own opinions surfacing. With their line of work, they came into these types of situations now and again. There was always the debate of should they, shouldn't they? How bad did a crime have to be in order to sentence someone to death? Killing four girls in cold blood for no motive whatsoever other than a few dollars in the cash register made Danny think this qualified. Lindsay had a different stance though. She'd watched her friends being murdered. She'd listened to their last cries. It was something that literally made Danny feel sick to his stomach. He wanted to do nothing but remove those memories from her brain. He wanted to relieve her of the pain she felt. He wanted to save her from everything she'd ever had to go through as a result of it. He knew she wanted nothing but him to be sorry for what he did. She'd listened to an insistence from himself for years that it wasn't him – they'd got the wrong person – he'd never been to Montana in his life. When all Lindsay wanted was for him to say sorry; for him to admit that what he had done was wrong – so wrong. But she'd never gotten it. And that's why Danny suspected she was struggling with it so much. If he was sentenced to death then that would inevitably mean she would never get that from him. Daniel Katums would never be sorry for what he did. And that scared Danny to no end because he didn't know what that would do to his beautiful, undeserving wife.

"Lindsay, listen to me." He whispered to her temple. "I'll support you whatever, you know that, but I really think you should think carefully about this. You're only going to get one chance here. They've offered you the chance to speak with him before. This could be your chance to get the answers to the questions you have. This could be your chance for him to say what you need to hear. I know it won't mean anything. It won't bring them back, but it might help you."

"I know," she said quietly.

"So what do ya wanna do?" he asked her.

"I want to go." She said with a pause. She sipped her wine and moved away from his shoulder, which made him turn to look at her. Her expression unnerved him and he could sense what was coming next. "There's something I need to tell you though," she said, making a heavy weight, marked: _dread_ settle in his stomach.

"Okay…"

"I need to do this alone."

And there it was. He'd expected it. Anticipated it. It just didn't make it any easier. The look on his face was automatic and no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was no use; he was hurt.

"It's not you." She instantly blurted out before closing her eyes and sighing heavily. Silence fell between them as she regained her composure. "I didn't mean that." She said. "What I meant was it's nothing against you and the support you never fail to give me, honey, it's just that I need and want to do this by myself. In order to finish this part of my life, I need to go into it how I started it… alone."

"But you're not alone!" he implored. "I'm here. I've been here all along. Please don't forget that, Linds. I went to the trial with you. I was there. I can go and hold your hand, help you through it. Please don't do this to yourself. Don't make yourself suffer when I can be there for you to lean on."

"What would we do with Lucy though, Danny?"

"She can stay with your Dad. He'd love to see her. Or she could stay here in New York with my Mom. We have options Linds."

"No we don't." Lindsay shook her head. "Danny, she needs to be with us. I appreciate you wanting to come baby, but this is honestly what I need. It's what I want. I want to do it alone for us. I love you but your duties here are to look after our baby, not me."

"You're my baby though." He said with unshed emotion in his eyes. He pressed a kiss to her temple and wrapped his arms around her tightly, mindful of her wine. "And believe it or not, you always will be my baby. I wanna be there to protect you, sweetheart. I don't want him to hurt you again."

"He can't hurt me anymore than he already has." Lindsay pointed out. "He took something that can never be replaced. My childhood was over. My life totally changed. He couldn't have hurt me anymore than he did that day. There's nothing else he can do now. But even so, I need to do it alone. I need to hurt and remember those feelings of pain. I need to be able to let it go, and I can only do that by facing my demons head on. I don't want to put you through all of this again. I need you to be strong for me and the way you're gonna do that is be here and look after our baby. She needs you more than I do. I'll be okay. I promise you."

"But you're just so strong all the time." Danny frowned. "Sometimes it's okay to need me."

"I need you, Danny." She said, reassuring him. "Trust me, I need you everyday. There's not a day that goes by where I don't thank my lucky stars that I have you. You have no idea how much you mean to me… But this here, this is honestly something I need to do alone. I've thought about it all day, and I definitely think I've made the right decision."

"There's no way I can change your mind?"

She shook her head. "If I do change my mind, you'll be the first one to know. Deal?"

"Deal." He sighed. "So long as you promise me you'll be okay."

"With you in my corner, cheering me on and ready to catch me when I fall, I'll always be okay." She smiled softly.

* * *

**And there we have the first chapter. If you haven't figured it out yet, this story is set around 9x8 (I believe it is 9x8 at least...) and will go through various blanks I wish we would have been able to see during the episode. Like i said, it's completely finished so hopefully I'll be able to post all the chapters pretty quickly. Thanks for reading - as always, I'd love to know what you guys thought. :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**howdy campers! Well, well, well, what do we have here? An update a few days later? I know! Alert the authorities hahaha. Told you this story was all ready to go! Thank you all so much for your kind comments for the first chapter. They were all so lovely and I loved reading all of them. I was really surprised though to see how many of you guys favourited and subscribed... thanks guys, hope you all keep coming back! **

**Now, enough from me. Hope you like chapter 2.**

* * *

_"I'm coming home to breathe again, to start again. I'm coming home, from all the places, I have been. With nothing but the voice within that calls me home."_

_Calls Me Home, Shannon LeBrie._

* * *

Adjusting in her constrictive seat, Lindsay yawned heavily. The twelve hour shift she had done before she'd caught the red-eye flight to Montana had literally knocked it right out of her. She watched the seatbelt signs flash off and she stood, cracking her back as she did so. She grabbed her carry on bag and purse before she slithered out from the row of seats she'd had to herself.

Saying goodbye to Danny at the airport had literally taken everything within Lindsay not to beg him to come with her. She knew he would have without a second's thought. Lucy would have been fine with his mother – or even in Montana with them. She just knew that when she got to Montana, she'd regret it. She needed to do this alone and he understood that. He didn't like it – that much he'd made obvious. He supported her though, and she really couldn't have asked for more than that.

The plane was considerably empty and she managed to navigate her way off after only a few minutes of them being parked at the gate. As she exited the plane and headed onto the gateway to the airport, she felt the chill in the air. She'd left New York and its cold temperatures and arrived in Montana with similar temperatures. Although in saying that, the forecast Danny had told her about said that they were in for some mild weather.

She frowned as she reached the airport. God she missed him. She reached in her pocket and took out her cell phone, turning it on. She wiped the screen as the apple symbol appeared on the screen and she began walking with her carry on, rolling behind her as she tugged it along with one hand. She waited patiently for the image of her home screen to show up; a picture of the three of them, laughing and smiling at Danny's birthday last year. It was easily her favourite picture of them all together. She'd been sat on Danny's lap, with Lucy sat on her lap. Danny's arms were wrapped around the both of them and he was pressing a kiss to her cheek. The smile on Danny's face melted her heart and later that night as she had set the picture as her wallpaper, Danny had smiled and done the exact same. He'd changed it since then, but the sentiment of having matching pictures for a while had given her butterflies.

Her finger hovered over the contact list but she pressed the lock button instead, deciding against calling him. He'd probably be asleep and she didn't want to call him because her resolve and determination to do this alone was currently at rock bottom. She wanted nothing more than to have him here with her, navigating their way through the airport together. And she'd ask him to fly out – and he would without a second's thought. And as much as she loved him for it – she didn't want him to have to do all of that for her. He'd done the grand gesture of flying out for her the last time. She didn't want to make a habit of it.

She'd told him – given him strict instructions in fact -that he wasn't to fly out and surprise her, nor was he to meet her at either airport on her way home. She wanted him to stay home and she didn't want him to worry. Easier said than done of course, but…

She walked through the empty security bay, with only one lone security guard doing the final checks before the airport closed for the night. It was strange to see everything closed considering she'd just come from an airport that never closed. There was always a flight going somewhere. Not in Montana though.

She boarded the monorail to take her to the arrivals section of the airport and she prepared herself for the reunion with her Dad. It had been at least three years since she'd last seen him face to face. Skype had made the time pass quicker and easier, but it still wasn't the most ideal of set-ups.

As the train settled in the station and the doors opened, she took a deep breath as she stepped off the monorail and emerged into the arrivals lounge. She glanced around for her Dad, and her eyes fell on him. He was leaning against a large pillar in the middle of the airport. One leg propped up against the stone, his other flat on the floor. His arms were folded and he had a smile plastered proudly on his face.

He pushed away from the pillar and began walking over to her. She was unsure of whether it was how tired she was, how emotionally exhausted she was, or the fact that she'd just missed him so damn much but whatever it was, she had the overwhelming urge to burst into tears. Seeing this in his daughter, Robert Monroe quickly closed the gap between them by breaking into a slow jog, wrapping his arms around her as he finally reached her in the middle of the airport. She instantly buried her head into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his stomach tightly, feeling her emotions get the better of her.

"Hey kiddo." He whispered into her hair as he squeezed her tightly. "God I've missed you."

"I missed you too." She managed with a whimper. She promptly burst into tears, crying softly against his flannel shirt. He removed his hat and placed it on her head. Pulling it over her, as to give her a little privacy. She eventually found her composure and pulled away from his embrace, swiping her fingers across her cheeks to remove the tears.

"Hi." She said, a little more cheery.

He simply smiled at her fondly as he removed the hat from her head. "This all you got?"

She nodded in response to the suitcase that she'd dropped on the floor as she had hugged her Dad. "Yeah, that's everything." She nodded as she picked up her purse from the floor. "Danny packed for me and he's a pretty good packer when he puts his mind to it." She chattered as they made their way to the exit.

"How was the flight?"

"Okay," she shrugged. "The change in Minneapolis was tedious."

"I bet," he sighed as he searched in his pockets for the car keys. "Did you eat?"

"No, but I'm not hungry." She said, tugging the suitcase behind her.

"Here, let me get that." He offered, taking the handle from her, tugging it behind him. "You must be exhausted kid."

"Yeah," she nodded, accompanying her reply with a yawn. "I worked like twelve hours today."

Robert Monroe sighed heavily as he unlocked the pick-up truck. He opened up the door for his daughter and held out his hand so she could climb into the seat.

"I'm not seven anymore," she smiled affectionately at him as she took his hand and climbed into the truck. "I can get in fine now."

"I know you can," he smiled at her as she settled in the seat. He handed her the suitcase and she placed it on the floor in front of her. "Old habits die hard though." He said before slamming the door shut and making his way around the truck.

She settled back in her seat and inhaled the scent of his beloved pick-up. The scent of the air-freshener, his aftershave and the pick-up itself sent her back twenty years when she was just a kid, sitting alongside of him as they went fishing, to the store and all of the other places he'd taken her along to.

She watched as he shoved the key into the ignition and the car roared to life.

"It's amazing this thing still works," she chuckled to herself.

"Hey, I love this old thing. A lot of work and care has gone into this. It's no coincidence it's still runnin' like a dream."

"Well it's no wonder where I got my love for cars from."

Robert smiled as he navigated his way from the parking lot and paid the fine for the time he'd parked up. He turned to Lindsay once they'd cleared the barriers and hit the open road. She'd been soaking in the sights of Montana before he'd reached for her hand and squeezed it softly. He smiled once he had her attention. "I'm glad you're home, kiddo. Maybe now you can breathe a little easier."

"Maybe," she nodded.

"I won't for the life in me though understand why you wouldn't let Danny come."

"He called you?"

"Told me to keep my eye on you, I could tell he was worryin'."

"He doesn't need to."

"He loves you." Robert concluded. "You'd be upset if he didn't worry."

"I guess," she shrugged in the passenger seat, still looking out of the window.

"You miss this old place?"

"Sometimes." She nodded. "It doesn't change. I like that."

"Me too," Robert added wistfully.

After a considerable drive home from the airport, Lindsay had decided to head straight to bed without any food or a drink; much to her father's dismay. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before carrying her suitcase upstairs for her, leaving her a few minutes to absorb her childhood home. She ran her fingertips over the solid oak grandfather clock that chimed every fifteen minutes, along with the matching coffee table. She peered into the darkened kitchen, still being illuminated at night by the stove light.

She felt like she was stepping back into her old life; being surrounded by the things she'd grown up with. It was nostalgic and a little overwhelming.

"I got you some towels and stuff for your bathroom. I figured you wouldn't have brought much with you, especially if Danny packed." He added with a smirk.

"You'd be surprised," Lindsay quipped as she made her way towards the staircase. "He's well trained now."

"I imagine you run a tight ship." Robert chuckled as she met him on the stairs. "Poor guy."

"Don't poor guy him, don't give him sympathy!" Lindsay implored good naturedly. "He asks for it."

"Sure," Robert smirked as he closed the distance between them and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Sweet dreams, kiddo. I'm glad you're home. I've missed you."

"I missed you too, Dad."

"Go get some sleep. I've got a list of things to do tomorrow."

"Alright," Lindsay sighed, rolling her eyes as she listened to the creaking of the hardwood floors underneath her socked feet. She turned and looked over her shoulder at the row of shoes sitting by the front door. _Nothing_ s _changed_. She mused to herself as she hit the final step on the stairs. She turned right and headed down the hallway to her bedroom. She sighed heavily before turning the handle and taking a deep breath.

She switched the light on and marvelled at how everything was just how she'd left it. It was like stepping back into her teenage years. Her trophies, ribbons and yearbooks were all scattered around. Photographs hung on every available hook and she couldn't help but feel a little comforted, despite the reason behind her trip to Montana. She turned to her bed and noticed that her Dad had already placed her suitcase on the bed, ready for her to grab the things she needed for the night. She unzipped the suitcase and flung back the lid and examined the things inside. She'd piled the clothes she'd intended to take with her, but Danny had packed in the end for her, with her not being able to escape from work until the very last minute.

She pursed her lips at the piece of paper that sat on the top of the suitcase. She picked it up and opened it up. On it, was Danny's writing. She sat on the bed and began reading.

_Montana_,

_Don't be pissed. I know you packed your other pyjamas for your trip, but I thought that this might come in handy. I know how you like these for those extra cold nights… or when you need that extra bit of security. Plus it's gonna smell like me, so that's always a bonus. Remember to pull the drawstrings of the pants tight, they'll fit you fine then. I already pulled them and knotted them pretty tight so you might be okay. _

She looked inside the suitcase and smiled at the sight of his grey t-shirt and his smallest set of pyjama pants. She picked the t-shirt up and held it to her nose, inhaling his scent. He was right; it was exactly what she needed: that extra bit of warmth and security.

_I wish I was there with you to give you all the love you'd need, but you'll just have to settle with these words and the grey-t-shirt. I miss you so much already and I love you even more. You're so brave baby and I'm proud of you. Do what you need to do and I'll be waiting on the step when you get back. _

_Talk to you soon, _

_D_.

Lindsay took a long, laboured breath before shedding her clothes she'd changed into before leaving for the airport and dumping them in a pile on the floor. She then tugged his grey t-shirt over her head and pulled on the pyjama pants over her legs. He'd tugged the drawstrings so that they were the perfect fit.

Her heart ached as she lifted the suitcase to the floor and rolled down the cold comforter. What she wouldn't give to have him with her right now… she thought to herself as she switched the lamp off and settled into bed. She knew that her decision was the right one and it was for the best. It just didn't make it any easier, especially when he'd touched her with the gesture of putting her in pyjamas that he knew would make things seem a little better. It was the small things that meant the most. And when this was all done and dusted, she'd be most definitely thanking him for being everything she needed him to be.

* * *

**Chapter 2 all done and dusted. Now, anyone that knows me knows I adore a good old airport scene and I wasn't about to pass this opportunity up. Hope you guys enjoyed this one and thank you all so much once again for you subscribing, favouring and reviewing the first chapter. I love you guys! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. I've got another update here for you. Sorry there's been a bit of gap in the updates, I had a busy weekend visiting friends before the school year starts up again... and today I started setting up my classroom, which let me tell ya, is like opening up Pandora's box. My god, you start to do one little thing and then you realise that before you can do that one little thing you want to do, you have to do ten other things first. Ugh. It's a good job I love teaching so damn much. **

**Anyway, enough with my daily life rambles haha. I'm thrilled you guys seem to be enjoying this. I know I definitely love reading all your reviews! thanks for taking the time in sending me your thoughts. they always are so appreciated. hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

"_I'm booking myself a one-way flight; I gotta see the colour in your eyes. I'm telling myself I'm gonna be alright… but without you baby, it's a waste of time."_

_-I Want Crazy, Hunter Hayes._

* * *

"Daddy, this isn't how Mommy does my hair."

"I know," Danny sighed heavily, his eyes bloodshot and his mood not improving as the clock ticked by. "Just humour me, kiddo."

"I don't like my hair like this." She stomped her foot. "Mommy does it better."

"Alright, I understand that but Mommy isn't here right now, so you're gonna have to just deal with how Daddy has done it for today. It's only for today." He rolled his eyes as he glanced to the laptop currently running a search on the living room's coffee table.

"But-"

"No." Danny cut her off. "A ponytail is fine."

"Mommy braids it."

"Enough Lucy." Danny snapped. "Daddy is really tired, I can't get the internet to work and we're gonna be late. I don't know how to do braids otherwise I would'a done one for you in the first place. I know you miss Mommy and I miss Mommy too but just stop, okay?" In his head, he'd patiently explained his current perils to his five year old. The patience seemed to get lost in translation however, and as the hurt look on her face registered, he realised that his tone was short and sharp... something his gorgeous little Lucy definitely didn't deserve.

"Daddy you're being mean." Lucy's bottom lip jutted out. "You stop it. You stop it right now!"

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose to relieve the stress and pressure building up. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Come here," he sighed, opening up his arms. She tentatively walked towards him and offered her opened arms to him. They embraced as Danny squeezed her tightly.

"When is Mommy coming home?" she asked quietly, the tone of his daughter's voice told him just how much she was missing her Mommy.

"Tomorrow night."

Lucy sighed. "Two days of pony tails."

"Afraid so, kid." Danny chuckled as he slid a barrette into her hair to catch the wispy, stray hairs. "It's just you and me until then."

Lucy arched her eyebrows and pursed her lips as if she wasn't too impressed at the thought of such. "Did you make me lunch?"

"Yeah." He nodded, "It's sat on the counter next to your backpack. I signed your agenda. Did you do your homework?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I only had spellings to learn and I learned them with Mommy before she went to Montana." Lucy paused. "Why did she go to Montana again?"

"She had to go and see someone."

"Why couldn't we go?"

"Because she needed to go alone…we told you about it, remember? How she has to go and see someone who wasn't very nice a long time ago."

"I know." She nodded. "But why couldn't we go with her?"

"Because me and Mommy talked and we didn't want you to miss school."

Lucy furrowed her brow. "It's the weekend."

"What?"

"It's Saturday." Lucy said, fighting a smirk.

Danny paused for a moment before moving to the TV, playing in the background. He pressed the guide button on the remote, bringing up the date and time in the top left hand corner. He read it with a growl. "Good try," he shot over his shoulder. "It's Thursday. Get your school shoes on."

"I tried." She sighed heavily as she stalked off to her room with a shrug of her shoulders.

Rolling his eyes, Danny reached for his cell phone and pressed the button at the top of the phone; alighting the screen. No missed calls or texts. He couldn't say he was surprised. There was no doubt in his mind that Lindsay was still sleeping. She'd worked more or less all day yesterday to then catch the flight to Montana after work. He could tell in the airport that she was absolutely exhausted and he hated seeing her so tired and withdrawn. He knew she'd been dreading what awaited her in Montana, but she was just so damn stubborn… He refreshed the website he'd been trying to access for the last hour with more ferocity than he probably needed to. He could hear the clicking of the internet browser responding eagerly and, as if the laptop knew his urgency, a list of flights popped up with their various prices littered down the task bar.

He clicked on the first one, leaving at five o'clock. He licked his lips as he assessed the times of the flights. He'd need to pick Lucy up from school a little early so that they made their flight, but her teacher wouldn't mind; it wasn't as if she missed school regularly. He knew the last minute fares would hit their credit card considerably but he wouldn't have been looking if he wasn't so serious, he reasoned with himself. He knew that Lindsay needed him and Lucy; she just didn't know it, or she did know it and she was fighting against herself. He loved every fibre of his wife but watching her inflict such pain on herself felt like a knife to his chest.

After speaking to his father in law when she hadn't picked up his earlier phone call, Robert had reassured him that she was her usual, fighting self and wasn't letting her defences down for anything and anyone. Danny had sighed in response, figuring that would be the case and Robert had then proceeded to explain to Danny that in speaking to him, she'd end up letting her guard down and that wasn't what she wanted… so they were both suffering as a result. It made sense to him hearing it from his father in law… it just didn't make it any easier.

Robert had then continued on, mentioning the weather and that if he was packing for say, himself and Lucy, that light jackets would be fine. Danny had taken that baton and was debating whether to run with it, or not.

He blinked at the sight of the price of tickets, more than two thousand dollars for the last minute tickets for both him and Lucy to leave today. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily at the thought of entering his card details for two thousand dollars. With their application being processed for a mortgage, they really couldn't afford a two thousand dollar credit card bill…But then, he couldn't really afford for Lindsay to be by herself right now.

Resigning to the fact that maybe Lucy would have to stay with his mother. He altered the passenger number from two to one with a heavy heart. He glanced at the clock and wondered why it was taking Lucy so long to put her Velcro school sneakers on but didn't question it because right now, he needed the uninterrupted time.

He sighed as the flight fares popped up on the screen in front of him. One thousand five hundred wasn't much better; he'd be better off taking Lucy too if there was that little difference in price…

He exhaled heavily and sat back on the couch, cursing all the airlines. He knew what his answer was. He also knew what he wanted the answer to be; but unfortunately, what the answer was, and what he wanted were two very different things. He knew what Lindsay had asked of him and he respected her; meaning that he was going to have to respect what she'd pleaded for him to do:

Let her do it by herself.

* * *

Pushing her breakfast from one side of the plate to the other, Lindsay sighed heavily as she flicked through the newspaper with her free hand. On the front page there was a big old picture of the monster that had done a good job of destroying the life she had once known. And of course, she'd got dragged into the article, detailing the last events of the biggest murderer Bozeman had ever seen. Her Dad had tried his best to hide the morning paper from her – but she'd seen the grey paper peeking out from on top of the refrigerator and well… curiosity had gotten the better of her. She closed the paper and read the headline article.

"THE ONE THAT WAS SPARED… RETURNING FOR DINER KILLER'S FINAL MOMENT?"

She rolled her eyes as the headline for the day registered. The one that was spared? Physically maybe… but that was pretty much where it began and ended. In terms of everything else imaginable, she was far from spared. And she almost loved how it was a question; like they had inside scoop on whether or not she was actually going to attend his execution. It was all just a game to them; her life was something exciting to write about… to pull people in. Everyone loved a good case of who-done-it. She knew that with her job. Everyday she had to fight to get to the yellow tape that marked the crime scene's perimeter. There hadn't been a day in her life where there hadn't been a curious bystander, desperate to see the happenings. It had been much easier when she was younger for they hadn't been able to name her for child protection reasons… but as soon as she hit eighteen those limitations were off. Her name was known, sure. Everyone knew that she'd been the one to listen to her friend's last cries. They all knew she flinched when she saw one of them with their hunting shotguns, game draped over their backs as they headed home. Eventually, she found ways to adjust to seeing the very weapon that had killed her friends, but it hadn't ever really gotten easier. Every time she had to fire off a shot gun at work, she felt sick with anxiety. She'd developed a brave front over the years and nobody, not even Danny, had been able to see any cracks in it. She'd worked hard to ensure that no one questioned her capabilities because she was in fact more than capable; she just had her past weighing down on her shoulders.

She decided to bite the bullet and began to read what the paper had printed.

_Survivor, Lindsay Monroe is surely packing her bags from her current home in New York City and making her way back to big sky country for a day everyone at the Bozeman Daily is sure she and the Monroe's have been waiting for, for many years. _

_Daniel Katums, shown above, has finally been given a date in line to his sentencing that Miss Monroe testified at in 2007, single-handedly gaining a 'guilty of murder in the first degree' verdict from the unanimous jury. _

_Miss Monroe, just fifteen at the time of the shooting, had been trapped in the bathroom during the traumatising moments wherein four girls were killed in cold blood. There have always been reports that it was a case of a robbery gone wrong, but these reports have never been confirmed based on the lack of evidence. _

_Sources state that Miss Monroe recently arrived back in her home town, ready for the execution and staying with her family. Miss Monroe is supposedly travelling alone, leaving her husband and daughter in their home state of New York. _

_Miss Monroe's family were unable to comment. _

Lindsay furrowed her brow. Unable to comment? As she glanced up, she saw her dad leaning against the refrigerator.

"I hid that from you."

"You forget I'm a trained investigator." She smirked before sobering. "Unable to comment?"

"They called." Robert rolled his eyes. "Last week; I just let the answer machine take it. They eventually got the picture."

"How many times did they call?" Lindsay inquired, knowing first hand in her experience when she shot Shane Casey, she and Danny ended up having to change their numbers because of reporters desperate for an "exclusive statement".

"A few times." Robert shrugged.

"Go on," Lindsay smiled at him. "How many times."

"Twenty three times."

"Very precise."

"A day." He added. "For a week and a half."

"Wow, someone was eager." Lindsay blinked.

"Yeah," Robert nodded. "And when I called and demanded an explanation as to why my daughter was being harassed by reporters during the toughest time of her life they soon stopped being so eager."

"I didn't even know they were… Oh, I see what you did there." Her confusion melted into a smile at her fiercely protective father. "Thanks Dad," she said softly.

"Anything for you." He said, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head. He then placed the landline on the table in front of her. "Call him."

Lindsay looked up at her dad through her mascara free lashes. "I will." She said.

"Not when you're ready. Call him now." He growled at her. "He's worried, Lindsay."

"I know." She frowned. "I just… I will, just not yet."

"It's a damn good job he loves you, kiddo." Robert sighed as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "I swear; you're enough to send us both insane."

"Yep," She said absent-mindedly as her eyes cast down to the picture of the demon she'd had to face years ago. His messy, greasy hair and his grey suit were still burned onto her retinas and she realised that in the not too distant future, she'd see him again. She'd tried not to think about that… she knew she'd be watching him die, but she didn't register that she'd see him. She just hoped he didn't have the same effect on her again. She didn't want to be frozen in fear. She wasn't the same little girl she had been before. She had to be brave. Her mind went to the framed quote that sat on her desk at work that Stella had sent her.

_Bravery is being the only one that knows you're afraid. _

Daniel Katums didn't need to know she was absolutely terrified. She'd get through this with her head held high; she had to… for them.

* * *

**and there we have another chapter done and dusted. like I said, I hope you guys liked this one! Let me know what you thought, it'd be much appreciated. Until next time... cheerio! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey folks, me again! I had actually planned to upload this this afternoon but my laptop decided that it kindly wasn't going to turn on so I couldn't do anything that I had planned to do today - which was a lot. But I watched the hunger games again for the 2949506839th time.. so it wasn't a total loss :p**

**Now, with this chapter, I used a lot of the canon events from the episode. I feel like it's probably important to note that despite what my little dreams are, I didn't write the episode and the little shipper himself, Zachary Reiter did, so the words I borrow from him I guess belong to him. I probably should do this whole disclaimer more often, but hey ho. So yeah, if you recognise it, chances are it doesn't belong to me. (except that fingers in the pocket move. I POSTED THAT FIRST NY WRITERS. I POSTED IT FIRST. SO THAT BELONGS TO ME. fuckers. just kidding. kind of.) **

**anyway, enough of that. I'm in work tomorrow. yes the summer is officially over for me. but I don't meet my new class until wednesday so staff training until then. yaay! **

**seriously, enough Laura... hope you guys enjoy what I guess is a extended insight into what played out in the episode. **

* * *

_When I think back on these times, and the dreams we left behind, I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life._

_-There you'll be, Faith Hill_

* * *

Settling down in the rocking chair on the front porch, Lindsay inhaled the Montanan air around her. It had a soothing freshness that she'd never been able to find within New York. She'd spent many nights, gazing off into the distance on the porch in the very rocking chair she was currently sitting in. For years she'd even sat with Lucy; side by side, watching the rain fall before deciding on a rain walk together. Sometimes they talked with every footstep; other times they walked in silence – their thoughts lost elsewhere. The company was sometimes all the other needed.

Lucy had been her first ever real friend that she'd made herself – not a friend forced upon her through her Mom. She'd had dozens of "friends" – who were actually just children of her mother's friends. Lucy however, Lucy was Lindsay's first ever friend. They'd walked into the Kindergarten room where they would spend the next academic year together as class mates. Lindsay had stuck close to her Dad, while Lucy was hiding behind her mother's legs. Eventually, when Lindsay's Dad had gone and Lucy's Mom had disappeared, they'd drifted away from the other children and had sat next to each other to complete one of the activities their teacher had set up around the classroom. Lucy had boldly introduced herself - no longer a nervous little girl; telling Lindsay she liked her horsey top and thought they should be friends. Lindsay could still remember the feeling of relief even at six years old, about having a friend.

And that had been the start of an inseparable friendship. School days were spent giggling and completing their class work before going home and doing their homework together. Weekends were spent sleeping over at the other's house. Summers were spent together. They were more like sisters than friends.

For Lindsay's eighth birthday her Dad had bought her a fly fishing rod and had then produced one for Lucy too… saying it was an early birthday present. They had spent the summer that year constantly on the lake catching fish before throwing them back into the water.

When Lindsay had turned nine, her Dad had got her a buck knife, so when Lucy's birthday came round, they'd both crossed everything they had that her Dad had done the same thing he'd done the year before and bought them identical presents. Except, when it got to Lucy's birthday in June, a month and a day after Lindsay's in May, they were both devastated to find a laughing Larry set, filled with practical jokes. Granted they had an affinity for Laughing Larry's practical jokes and had saved up their allowances all summer one year to buy a ridiculous flying hovercraft that ended up being a stupid waste of money. They'd renamed it 'Hovercrap' and vowed and declared to never speak of it again…

It was in the years after that they really cemented their friendship with Kelly and Caroline. Kelly had transferred from another school and Caroline was held back a year – meaning that when they went into the sixth grade, Lucy and Lindsay transformed from a two to a four overnight. And even though the four of them were inseparable – there were still plenty of times where it was simply Lucy and Lindsay; just like the old times. She loved Kelly and Caroline – with all of her heart - there was just a special part reserved just for her friendship with Lucy.

As she gazed out to the patch of grass where she and Lucy had lain looking up at the stars for hours, she felt herself being transfixed on the memory. She could remember Lucy talking about moving anywhere; getting out of Montana and Lindsay could distinctly remember declaring that she'd never leave. She liked Montana. One of the reasons behind her moving to New York was because of that very conversation. She felt like Lucy had been right. There was so much more out there than wheat-fields and cowboys.

Watching her Dad cross the driveway, she glanced down at her watch. She knew exactly the conversation they were about the share and it was one she wasn't particularly looking forward to. It was finally time to face the music.

* * *

With her thudding in her chest, Lindsay took short, sharp breaths as she could hear the sound of her heels clicking against the concrete floor. She'd been in cells plenty of times before, but never really as a victim and witness, facing her demon. She swallowed as she edged towards the cell she knew he was housed in. Her eyes widened as she focused on him. In the six years since she'd last seen him face to face, he'd not changed. He'd acquired more facial hair and looked slightly more haggard through the brutal years serving in a high security facility. It looked like he'd suffered and she found a little bit of comfort in that.

She locked eyes with him and she felt her heart thudding uncontrollably within her chest.

"The one who got away. Lotta nerve showing up here. I'm guessing you got something to say, so why don't you have a seat."

Ignoring his jeers and the chair behind her, she tried desperately hard to level her tone of voice to a steady octave. "How much money did you get out of the cash register that day? How much? I wanna know how much those lives were worth to you."

"This is going to be a disappointing little discussion. For both of us . You were at the trial, you heard me then, hear me now, it wasn't me. You ID'ed the wrong guy."

The anger within the pit of her stomach ignited as she listened to his words. _Every time_. Every time he threw that at her. Whether it was directed towards her or whether it was in court reports about her. Either way he went for the basic, _it wasn't me _plea. "Right, yeah I read your appeals. They're all based on the unreliability of a single eye witness."

"Sixteen years go by; you waltz into that courtroom and point your finger at me … please."

She felt her stomach knot as she fought the sickly feeling rising in her stomach. "I feel sorry for you, I do ." She could see a spark of anger in his eyes.

"Why did you come here, what is that you want, huh? Absolution? You want this off your conscience? You came to the wrong place, little girl."

It wasn't absolution she was looking for. Sure she had guilt but it was purely and simply survivor's guilt. Survivor's guilt was a part of her that would never go away and she'd come to accept that. But she had no guilt; she had done nothing wrong. He'd been the one to destroy lives. She'd stood on the stand that day in 2007 and had absolutely done the right thing. She wasn't even here to see his retribution for the things he'd done. All she wanted was the answers to her questions. "All these years, all the appeals, all the denials. What if we argue this, what if we argue that? You still can't state the simple truth."

It was as she turned on her heel that she realised that in reality she was never going to get her answers. He hadn't parted with them in the six years he'd been convicted of the murders and there was no way he was going to part with the whys now. It was something she'd learn to live with; she had already if she dug deep within herself. A part of her knew why – it was simply a case of why not? There had been inconclusive drug tests – the results had not proved any drugs in Daniel Katums' system, but she knew for whatever reasons he'd needed the money for, it had been him that night. He could swear on the bible until he was blue in the face that it hadn't been him, but she knew. She knew the real truth; and deep down – so did he.

* * *

**okay so this chapter is a lot shorter than I originally thought it was. but the next two are much longer so I'm pretty sure it will make up for it. A huge, huge thank you to you guys who reviewed the last chapter- and those of you who of course read it too. I'm glad you guys are still liking it. just two more chapters left now and then it's onto the other things I've been working on. thanks for reading folks, as always... let me know what you thought! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys! me again! survived my first week of teaching at my new school. yay! hope everyone is settling back into school routines if it applies to you. I know lots of people are going back to college. enjoy it! There's one last chapter for this story... and then we're onto the other stories I've squirrelled away. I think you will love them! **

**huge thank you to those of you still checking in with this story. I really loved writing this and i'm glad you guys seem to be enjoying it too. **

* * *

_Bags all packed to make sure you remember everything. No looking back no more; not for anything. This is what you wanted, isn't it?_

_-Shadow, Sam Tsui._

* * *

Zipping the suitcase she'd lived out of for the past two days shut, Lindsay exhaled heavily as a burden was lifted from her shoulders. While the last few days hadn't been easy, they'd been exactly what she needed. She'd hurt and cleansed herself of her burdens and because of it she now felt refreshed.

It was somewhat strange to adjust to the idea of him being gone. Over the last six years, while she'd rested easy at night, knowing the person who had destroyed so many lives was locked behind bars, she'd always had a niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach. The what if. The why. She'd asked why for years, never really getting her answers. Why her? Why them? Why had he done it? Why did he pick that diner? Had he been that desperate for the money? What had he spent the money on? Did he ever regret what he'd done? Was he sorry?

She didn't know the answers to the majority of her barrage of questions that plagued her, but she knew one. He was sorry for what he'd done. Whether he'd meant his last words was something she'd never know, but if she took what he said at face value, she had everything she needed to know. He was sorry. He'd looked her in the eyes and told her he was sorry. When she'd listened to what he'd said she'd felt the pressure on her shoulders being released. The burden wasn't as strong on her. Watching the life slip from his eyes wouldn't be something she'd forget anytime soon, and she wasn't entirely sure how well she'd dealt with it. It was an image she hadn't really needed to see; another human being taking their last breath; but then she reminded herself of the said human being in question. That excuse of a man had killed her friends. He deserved all that he got.

She'd spent many years of her life keeping the thought at bay and it often surfaced during her darkest of dreams, but she knew for a fact that he would have killed her if he had known she was hiding in the bathroom. He'd never said it in as many words as he'd always protested his innocence, but there was an air of unspoken regret in his eyes. It was like he kicked himself every day over his sloppy job. If only he had checked the restroom he'd have no witnesses, no survivor to make sure he paid for what he'd done.

"You're goin' to miss your flight if you don't get a move on." Robert said from the doorway. She looked up and saw that he was casually leaning against the door with a concerned look on his face. "How you doin' kiddo?"

"I'm okay." She smiled at him. "It hasn't been the easiest of days, but I'm okay."

"Why do I not believe you?" He asked her, motioning towards the bed.

"Because you're convinced I'm still your little girl that's going to crumble any minute?" she asked, slightly amused despite the situation they had found themselves in. "Believe it or not, Dad, I'm a tough cookie."

"I know that, Linds." He sighed as he took a seat next to her and folded his hands in his lap. "I just… you've seen more than I ever wished you would have."

"I know you didn't want me to go today Dad, and I probably could have lived without seeing it…" she paused. "But it's something I needed to do. For them."

"They wouldn't have wanted this for you, Lindsay." He sighed. "I've told you this for years; they wouldn't want this life for you. Lucy was like a second daughter to me, you know that and she would hate the way you've carried this with you Lindsay. They wouldn't have wanted to be a burden on you. They would have wanted you to be free. You are here for a reason."

"It could have been me that day, Dad." She said softly. "I could have decided against washing my hands when I did. Or he could have checked the bathroom. It wasn't fair that I walked away without a scratch on me."

"Lindsay, I thank whoever's listenin' up there every single day that they decided against takin' you from me." Robert said softly. "I bet Danny does too."

Lindsay frowned at the sound of Danny's name.

"You still haven't called him, have you?"

She shook her head.

"I know." He said sadly. "I spoke to him again. He's going crazy, Linds. This is hard on him too, you know that right?"

"I know it is, but he's just concerned for me."

"You're right… but you need to remember that this is trudging up a lot of bad memories for him too. Don't think I've forgotten the stories you used to tell me about him. And then after you got that call that they'd apprehended him, the stories about Danny stopped. It was like he never even existed. I know it was hard on you back then, Lindsay, but he cared for you. He cared a lot and you wouldn't let him in… not even a little. You've done it again."

"It wasn't intentional." She sighed heavily. "It's been a busy two days."

"I'm not sayin' it hasn't been… But what I am sayin' is that a text message saying you love him and miss him and that you're okay doesn't take much, does it?"

She shook her head.

He softly placed her iPhone into her hand. "I'll meet you downstairs. You got everythin' packed?"

She looked at her phone for a moment before tearing her eyes away from the screen and smiled at him, "Yeah I think so."

"If you don't I can always mail it." He shrugged as he picked the suitcase up. "I'm sure you'd just buy new."

"Probably." She giggled as he left her bedroom with her suitcase in tow. Before he did, she cleared her throat. "Dad?"

"Yeah?" he turned and looked over his shoulder.

"I love you." She said softly with a smile tugging at her lips. "And I've missed you."

"I love you too, kiddo."

With his quick departure, Lindsay turned her attention down to her cell phone.

* * *

Danny wiggled the mouse-pad on the laptop sat in front of him as he scanned through the witness report Mac was currently debriefing them on. With Danny having transcribed the damn document, he found the meeting he was currently stuck in a little tedious. He glanced at his watch and sighed heavily as he tapped his pencil against the table top. Still no word from Lindsay and he was quite frankly going insane. He felt like it was six years ago and he was stood in that damn hallway in the precinct with her telling him that it wasn't him, it was her and how she needed to figure some stuff out. He felt just as shut out as he did then, now.

He pressed the lock button at the top of his iPhone and smiled down at the image of Lindsay. She and Lucy had been goofing around with the camera last week and they'd ended up leaving about twenty pictures of them making silly faces. In and amongst the silliness however, his girls had decided to leave him a nice smiley one. Lindsay was looking at Lucy who was grinning at the reflection of herself that the camera had shown on the screen. It was the love in Lindsay's eyes that he loved about the picture. The way she looked at their daughter made his insides tighten with love and adoration for his wife. Granted, Lucy was a cute kid, who made it pretty easy to adore her… but the way Lindsay looked at her made it seem effortless.

Suddenly, his phone started buzzing on the table and he lifted it up. Lindsay's name flashed up on the caller ID and he felt his stomach drop. He glanced towards Mac as he gestured with his hands about whatever he was talking about in regards to the witness report. Danny debated whether or not to answer it and excuse himself and just as he gathered the courage to do so, the missed call symbol displayed itself. He slammed the phone angrily on the table and leant back in his chair abruptly.

"Is there a problem, Danny?" Mac glanced over in his direction.

"No," Danny frowned. "That was Lindsay though. I missed the call."

"We're nearly done here. You can call her back in like ten minutes, okay?"

Danny didn't supply him with an answer as his already bad mood took a turn for the worse. He'd been desperate to get Lindsay to answer his calls for hours now… and now the one time she had called him… he hadn't even been able to answer the phone. God damn typical was what it was. The voicemail icon flashed up on the screen and he felt a tension and stress headache rear its ugly head.

"Danny… go call her back." Mac said from the head of the table. "You know all of this report anyway. Go."

"You sure?" He said, already standing from his seat.

"Well, I wouldn't dare try and stop you now." He mused. "But before you go, pass on our love for me?"

"Will do." Danny agreed as he pushed through the glass doors. He headed straight for the office he shared with Lindsay and Jo and pushed through the doors and collapsed in Lindsay's desk chair as he pressed his phone to his ear as he waited for voicemail on his phone to connect.

"_Hey Danny, it's me baby. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. You've probably been going crazy, huh? I really miss you and I hope you know how much I love you. I'm getting ready to head to the airport now… my dad's waiting for me downstairs but I just figured I'd call you before we leave. I don't really wanna tell you about what happened over the phone but I'll tell you everything when I get home. There's something else I wanna say too…" _he shifted the phone from one ear to the other as she paused. _"My mind needed more time to realise I didn't need to do this alone. My heart's known all along but it didn't send the message to my thick skull quick enough… I'm sorry I didn't let you come with me, but I think it's what I needed to do for the best… even though that doesn't really make sense. I hope you're not too upset that I've pushed you away. I didn't mean to, honey. I just… you know me, better than I know myself sometimes. As much as I would have liked you here with me, I don't think I would have wanted you to see what I have seen. I know that's not going to make you feel any better, but I got what I needed. I got my closure and I guess that's the most important thing. Anyway, I better go. I love you Danny, so much. I can't wait to see you… Bye baby."  
_

Danny leant back in his chair as the voicemail offered him the option to listen to the message again. He didn't need to listen to again right now, but he would later. Even though she was right in that her message and thoughts didn't particularly make a lot of sense, it made perfect sense to him. He knew exactly what she was trying to say to him. She wanted him there. She was angry with herself for not letting him be there… but in the end she was glad she'd done it because it had made her feel things she would have suppressed and hidden from his watchful eyes. Being by herself had given her the chance to cry herself to sleep like he knew she would have done. Going to the execution by herself will have given her the chance to face the demons she'd tried to shove away in her chest of secrets for the final time. She was now hopefully coming back to him cleansed and with closure. And like she had said; that was the most important thing.

* * *

Lindsay inhaled and exhaled with a sigh as she collected her boarding card from the ticketing agent.

"Enjoy your flight, Mrs. Messer."

"Thanks," she smiled in response as she turned to face her Dad, who was stood, leaning against a pillar within the airport, just away from the check in counter.

"All set?" he asked as she made her way over to him.

She nodded. "Yep."

"No bag?"

"I checked it." She said with a smile. "I'm off loading my baggage onto other people now; why carry all of that weight by myself?"

Sensing her double meaning Robert Monroe smiled at his only daughter. "Lindsay, I'm so proud of you."

"You're going to make me cry." She shook her head, her tone warning him. "I don't wanna cry."

"I'm sorry kid but… I don't know where you get your strength from. You can be kicked around and be down and out… and yet, you've still got the fight somewhere inside of you."

"I get it from you and Mom."

"We've never been as strong as you Lindsay." He shook his head softly. "You never let the bitterness of your situation take the sweetness from you." Robert said softly. "I know your mother loved that about you just like I love that about you, Linds."

"I love you too, Dad."

"You got everythin'?" he asked her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"It's too late now, isn't it?" She giggled as he squeezed her tightly.

"I guess." He shrugged. He released her from his tight squeeze and draped his arm across her shoulders as they walked together to the security check-point. "Listen, I just need to know Linds. Did you get what you wanted?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you get what you came for? Did you get your answers?"

"Not really," she shook her head. "I'll never know the amount he got from the cash register that day. I'll never know who he shot first and who he shot last. I won't ever know whether he thought about checking the bathroom, but I know he's gone now. He's gone and he can't ever hurt me or them again. He said he was sorry; whether he meant it is something I'll never know, but he acknowledged what he had done and that's all I've ever wanted; for him to admit what he did."

"And you think he did that by saying sorry?"

"You've got to have done something before you apologise." Lindsay rationalised. "By him saying sorry for what he'd done, it told me he was admitting to what he'd done."

"But he never admitted it in court?"

"Never," Lindsay shook her head.

"So why then?" Robert pondered. "Because he knew he had nothing to lose?"

"It was his late admission." Lindsay said softly. "Better late than never."

Rather than adding anything else, Robert leant forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"Don't leave it so long before you visit again." He said playfully. "And don't come back unless it's to visit me. No more court cases, appeals and executions, okay? Next time you come and see me, I want you, Lucy and Danny for myself."

"I promise." She said as she wrapped her arms around her Dad. "Alright, I'm gonna miss my flight."

"Give Lucy a big hug from me."

"I will." Lindsay said as she shifted her purse on her shoulder. "I'll call you later this week."

"Alright Kid, you're killing yourself with this goodbye" He smiled. "Now, turn around and walk. No lookin' back now. No tears. You're doing good. I love you. I'll see you soon."

Lindsay took a deep breath as she took one last longing look at her father before swallowing the lump in her throat and striding forwards towards security. He was right, the next time she was going to walk through Gallatin County Security checkpoint would be with Lucy and Danny for far better reasons.

* * *

Drumming his fingers on the side of his coffee cup, he felt the anxiety flutter in the pit of his stomach. Her flight had landed a little over an hour ago and he had been waiting outside for her ever since. His coffee cup was long since empty and although he could probably drink another, he didn't want to risk the chance of her coming home and him not being on the front steps like he had promised. He'd asked Mrs. Gettelman to periodically check on Lucy but she'd been out like a light since seven-thirty.

Lindsay had called from Minneapolis on her layover and they'd talked. He'd felt elated when he saw her number on the caller ID and he'd barely let it ring once before he was practically shouting hello at her.

Originally, Danny had thought their conversation was going to be awkward and it all fairness, it had the potential to be. They hadn't spoken in what felt like days… but after she'd giggled at his enthusiastic hello, she'd fallen silent almost as if she didn't know what to say to him. He could imagine her mouth opening and closing as words escaped her… so he'd decided to take the lead.

"So, you got any idea how much I love you?"

"Not as much as I love you." She'd replied simply. Such a simple statement from him had broken the ice. She hadn't told him much but she'd told him enough. He'd listened patiently, asking questions where only necessary and he didn't even offer an 'mhmm' and other sounds in understanding. He simply listened, and by doing so he found Lindsay opening up more than she ever would have.

He'd been able to gauge that she was glad she went but she wasn't prepared to watch the monster die. It had shocked and scared her. She explained that while she knew and understood he was the reason why she'd listened to her friends die, it had always felt like a bad dream; a nightmare that felt real, but when she opened her eyes, it was gone. But watching the life drain from his eyes had felt very real to Lindsay.

Danny knew it was the pureness of Lindsay's character that made it so difficult. He loved her with everything he had and he hated the cards that she had been dealt. It wasn't fair. But the without the cards that she'd been dealt, he wouldn't have ended up with her… and that was something that he wouldn't have been able to live without.

Hearing the engine of a car, Danny glanced up from where he'd been staring at his coffee cup and he felt the excitement rising in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the yellow cab.

He watched her eyes as they turned and found him, waiting for her on the step, just as he'd promised.

He stood as she made her way towards him silently and he felt nothing but joy when he felt her arms wrap themselves around his neck. She was home and in his arms. Whatever she'd done, or not done, didn't matter anymore. He'd been hurt that she hadn't called but now he realised it didn't matter. He loved her unconditionally and she was everything to him. He squeezed her tighter, trying to protect her from the horrors she'd seen over the past few days, to which she squeezed him tighter in return. He pressed a kiss to her temple and took the opportunity to inhale the scent he'd missed so much.

He broke away from her reluctantly and went to grab her suitcase. He turned and looked for her hand but instead he felt her bury her fingers in his back pocket. Feeling her reach for him and hold him tightly between her fingertips was everything he needed from her. He needed to feel like she needed him and her holding onto his pocket had told him just that. She needed him more than he knew and he needed her more than she knew. They were the perfect fit… when they weren't so damn stubborn with one another.

He pushed through the doors of their apartment building and silently made their way to the elevators. As he pushed the button, he took her hand and she laced her fingers between his and squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked to her and she had a small smile on her face. It was apologetic, loving and thankful.

And there was just a little sparkle in her eyes that Danny had never, ever seen before and he knew exactly what that sparkle was. She was free from the torment of Daniel Katums.

* * *

**there we have it. I really hope you guys liked this chapter. i wanted to kind of pull everything together without dragging it out too. I feel like this does that and I hope you agree. Thanks for reading this update. if you have a spare moment, I'd love to know what you thought. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**well gosh guys, i can't say this happens often but when it does I feel super proud and slightly sad. this is officially the last chapter for this story. thanks for being so patient with me with the updates. i had intended them to be a lot more regular, but I found that being a kindergarten/first grade/reception/year one teacher - depending on where you live hahah - ended up taking up A LOT more time than I had originally planned. last week felt like an entire month. so that's where I'm at hahaah. I've always been throwing myself into the world of Katniss and Peeta. I feel like DL are slowly slipping away from me and I'm fighting it big time. I'm not ready to let go of them yet :'( **

**anyway, I just want to say a huge, massive heartfelt thanks to all of you who have read, reviewed, favourited and followed this story. I appreciate everything and if I've made even just one of you guys smile then my job's done. **

**without any further adieu, here's the last chapter to 'free at last'. **

* * *

_We won't be lookin back; we'll be free at last._

_- Free at last, Jason Walker_

* * *

Feeling a dip in the mattress, Lindsay stirred from her slumber. With the traffic noises sounding from the ground, it was safe to assume that she was no longer in Montana. Something about her felt different though. The past week had taken it's toll on her significantly, both in the lead up and the actual happenings of Daniel Katums and his execution, and with the burden that had weighed down on her shoulders, she felt the weight now being lifted. Clarity was now in its place; things were clearer now. They were brighter.

Feeling a tiny little fingertip prod her nose, Lindsay fought the smile on her face as she prepared to lay her eyes on her beautiful Lucy. She cracked one eye open playfully and saw the gorgeous little five year old poised and ready with her little index finger, ready to prod her nose again.

"Are you awake?" Lucy's toothy little grin smiled at Lindsay.

"Well I am now," Lindsay returned with a chuckle as she opened both eyes properly and sat up in bed. "I missed you, sweet pea. Did you have fun with Daddy?"

"Yep," Lucy nodded "I missed you though. Daddy made my sandwiches wrong on Friday so I got mad with him. And don't even talk to me about how he did my hair. He made me wear pony tails Mommy." She implored dramatically. "Pony tails! If you go to Montana again, will you teach him how to braid my hair? How's grandpa?"

"He's okay," Lindsay smiled, amused at her daughter's expressions, dramatics and quick change of subject. After her father had picked her up from the airport after her red eye flight they had spent a good hour on the way home talking all about Lucy's latest antics and how she was growing so quickly.

When she had flown out to Montana when she was heavily pregnant, her father had been dead against the idea, but with her mother in and out of chemotherapy for cancer treatment Lindsay had felt that it was important for her to see her mother, and likewise for her mother to see her, especially when she was pregnant. Although she had been in denial about the severity of her mother's condition, which she'd bravely battled for a good five years, Lindsay knew that the likelihood of her mother seeing her pregnant with her second child would be unlikely; therefore her seeing Lindsay pregnant with Lucy had meant everything… to the both of them. She knew that given the chance, her mother would have flown out to New York without a second thought… but with the circumstances as they were, the responsibility had fallen onto Lindsay and she had taken the baton and gracefully ran with it. And as it was, it was a week that Lindsay would cherish forever. She got to bond with her mother over something so special and personal to them. Grandmother, Mother and baby. They hadn't had much time as their three generations, but Lindsay appreciated every second that she'd had with both her mother and with Lucy.

"Did you go and see Grandma?" Lucy's little voice wondered.

"No," Lindsay shook her head sadly. "Not this time, I had something really important that I needed to do, and I didn't want to spend a moment longer away from you than I needed to."

"Why did you go to Montana then?"

Lindsay took a deep breath in and exhaled it steadily as she lifted up the covers and gestured for Lucy to join her underneath them.

"When Mommy was a little girl, something sad happened."

Lucy leant against Lindsay and craned her neck up to look at her mother as she tucked herself into Lindsay's side.

"I had three really special friends that were like my sisters. We did everything together."

"Like me you and Daddy?" Lucy asked.

"Kind of," Lindsay nodded. "But we loved each other in a different way. We laughed a lot, talked about lots of things and really loved spending time with each other. We used to go fishing and we went on picnics and then in the summer times when it was really warm out we'd go into Grandma and Grandpa's big garden and my Daddy would make a fire for us and we'd toast marshmallows until it was time to go to sleep."

"That sounds like so much fun!" Lucy cried. "I liked it when we did that with Grandpa."

"You did like that," Lindsay smiled at the memory of Lucy making s'mores with her Daddy and grandfather. "Grandpa liked it too."

"Are they still your friends now? Why don't you take me to see them? Did you get in a fight?"

"We didn't fight," Lindsay shook her head. "We never even really got mad at each other… and even if we did, we'd start laughing. We were pretty silly like that."

"Like how Daddy makes you laugh when you're mad at him?" Lucy questioned.

"A little," Lindsay smiled. "But one night, my friends and I went to this diner we always used to go to for dinner on the weekends… this one night, it was a little different and we ended up staying later than we usually did before we went home. We were just talking and talking and laughing. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands because we were nearly finished and I had my apple pie all over my fingers."

Lindsay licked her lips as she prepared and thought about what happened next. She felt like she needed to share what had happened with Lucy, but didn't want to scare or upset her.

"What happened when you went to the bathroom, Mommy?"

"Somebody came in and made a really bad choice," she began. "He hurt my friends and one of the girls that worked there."

"Did he say sorry to them?" Lucy asked, taking Lindsay's hand and holding it tight.

Lindsay shook her head, gesturing 'no' as she bit her lip, stopping the tears in her eyes from falling.

"Why?" Lucy whispered.

"I don't know," Lindsay shrugged. "He never told me why."

"Why don't you ask him?"

"I did," Lindsay sniffled, lowering her head sadly, "I asked him a few times but he wasn't very nice. He found it hard to say sorry."

"What did he do to them?"

"Honey, all you need to know is that he hurt them and after he'd hurt them they went to heaven."

Lucy narrowed her eyes. "He really hurt your feelings too, Mommy, didn't he?"

Lindsay nodded. "He hurt me too,"

"Where?" Lucy's little eyes widened.

"Not anywhere that you can see," Lindsay explained. "He hurt my feelings like you said, sweet pea. He hurt my friends and that hurt me. He took them away from me so when they heaven I was all alone and I missed them. I still miss them."

"Did you go to Montana to see them?" Lucy questioned.

"In a way," Lindsay nodded. "See, when Mommy and Daddy were just Danny and Lindsay, before we were your Mommy and Daddy, we used to be really good friends."

"Before you lived together?"

"Way before we lived together," Lindsay smiled. "Way before we had our special rings and everything," Lindsay grinned as Lucy ran her fingers over her wedding ring and engagement ring. "We used to be really good friends, but I had to go and tell a special person about the horrible thing that this man had done to my friends and I made Daddy sad because I didn't want him to be sad too, so I didn't tell him."

"Didn't he know though?"

"No," Lindsay shook her head. "Because he didn't know _everything _about me back then."

"He knows _everything_ about you now though," Lucy smiled.

"He sure does," Lindsay agreed. "But when I had to go and tell the special person, a judge, about what happened when the bad man took my friends away, I thought I needed to do it by myself."

"So did you go to Montana by yourself?"

Lindsay nodded, "But see, I wasn't doing very well by myself. I missed Daddy."

"Was he Daddy then? Was he your boyfriend?"

Lindsay smiled, "No, he was just Danny then."

"Did you want him to be your boyfriend?" Lucy's little eyes gleamed.

"You're a little monkey," Lindsay nodded and giggled. "Yes, I did… but at the time, all I wanted was for the person that had hurt my friends to say sorry and be punished for what he did."

"Did he go to jail?"

"He did," Lindsay nodded. "For a long time… I had to tell the special judge and the people who made the decision about him going to prison what happened and I wasn't doing very well," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "talking about my friends made me miss them a lot and I was really upset. I really wanted Daddy to come and save me but because I'd made him so sad, I didn't ever think he'd come."

"Did he?" Lucy's little eyes widened.

"He did," Lindsay nodded. "Right when I was getting a little too teary eyed to tell my story; he walked in through these big wooden doors and smiled at me. He worked with Uncle Mac for nearly two whole days and he hadn't even gone to bed… but instead of going to sleep when Uncle Mac told him to, he flew all the way to Montana by himself and found the courthouse where I was telling the special people what happened and he sat there and listened to everything I said. Then, when we listened to whether or not the bad man was going to jail, he held my hand… just like you are," Lindsay said, looking down at their intertwined hands.

"So why did you have to go back?"

"Because the special judge decided that the horrible person that hurt my friends should go away… so I went to see him go away."

"Where did he go?"

"Somewhere where he can't hurt anyone anymore."

"Did he say he was sorry in the end?"

Lindsay's lips twisted into a small, sad smile. "He did. In the end he made the right choice."

"But you're still mad with him," Lucy observed. "He still hurt your friends."

"He did, nothing will change what he did, sorry won't fix it… but it's good that I know now that he can't hurt anyone else and he's paid for the horrible thing that he did to them."

"Were they nice girls?" Lucy asked.

"The most wonderful girls in the world," Lindsay smiled as she stroked her thumb over her daughter's soft skin. "You would have loved them all. They were funny. They would have made you laugh a lot."

"Were they pretty?"

"Beautiful," Lindsay smiled. "Just like you," she said as she poked her little girl's button nose. "I have a picture. Do you want to see them?"

Lucy nodded excitedly.

"Okay, can you open up my suitcase and the ziplock bag that is sat on the top of everything?"

Lucy nodded and quickly shuffled down the bed and jumped off the edge as she went to Lindsay's unzipped suitcase. She shoved the lid off and it hit the floor with a hearty smack. Lucy observed the contents quickly before grabbing the ziplock bag and clambering back up onto the bed and rushed to the place she'd recently vacated. She placed the ziplock bag on Lindsay's lap and snuggled back into her side.

"Okay," Lindsay smiled as she unzipped the bag. She reached in for the first picture of her and Lucy, Caroline and Kelly that she'd taken from around her mirror in her bedroom. She placed it in Lucy's hands and let her look carefully for a moment.

"Who are these girls? I thought this was a picture of you and your friends?"

"This is a picture of me and my friends." Lindsay smiled.

"You're not on there." Lucy narrowed her eyebrows at Lindsay.

"I am," Lindsay smiled softly. "That's me, there." She said, pointing at the fourteen year old version of herself.

"That's you?" Lucy gasped.

Lindsay nodded with a smile. "That's me, right there."

"But you look so different, Mommy."

"I know," Lindsay smiled. "I was fourteen there."

"How long ago was that?"

Lindsay pursed her lips and thought about it. "Twenty two years ago."

"Whoa." Lucy blinked. "You're old."

"Thanks." Lindsay smirked.

"Who is that?"

"That's Caroline."

"And who was that?"

"That's Kelly." Lindsay smiled.

"And who's that?" Lucy pointed to the last smiling face. "She's really pretty."

"That was my best friend." Lindsay paused as she prepared herself to tell her daughter for the first time where she'd gotten her name from. "She was called Lucy."

"But I'm called Lucy," Lucy turned, an expression of confusion plastered all over her face.

"I know you are; Daddy and I gave you your name."

"But your friend is called Lucy too."

Lindsay nodded with a smile.

"We're both Lucy?"

"You're both Lucy."

"Why?"

"Well," Lindsay thought about it for a moment. "My friend Lucy was someone who was really special to me and when I was thinking about what I could call you, I thought really hard about what name would be just perfect. Daddy really liked the name Lucy because he thought it was a perfect little name for a perfect little Messer."

"Like me," Lucy giggled.

"Exactly," Lindsay nodded. "And when I thought about how special you were to me, I thought that maybe Lucy would be a good name, because even though you are so, so special to me, my friend Lucy was special to me too. So Daddy and I called you Lucy."

Lucy nodded and stared carefully at the picture she held in her little hands. Lindsay could see her eyes darting between the fourteen year old version of herself and the fourteen year old version of her friend, Lucy. After a few moments, Lucy turned and smiled at Lindsay. "You were really pretty when you were a little girl, Mommy."

"Do you think so?" Lindsay smiled as she wrapped her arm around Lucy and took hold of one side of the picture. "I always thought Lucy was so pretty… which is funny, because you're pretty too."

"Do you think I'll be as pretty as you were?"

"I think you'll be beautiful." Lindsay smiled as she pressed a kiss to her daughter's temple. "Just like my other Lucy."

"Your angel Lucy?" Lucy whispered.

"My angel Lucy."

Lucy nestled herself into Lindsay's side tightly and carried on looking at the picture. After a few moments of extended silence from her five year old, Lindsay prodded Lucy's cheek with her finger. "What are you thinking about?" Lindsay asked her softly.

"The next time you go to Montana, can I go too?" She asked.

"Of course," Lindsay nodded, "But why?"

"Because I want to go and see Lucy."

"Lucy, honey… my friend Lucy, she's in heaven, remember?"

"I know," Lucy nodded. "Doesn't she have somewhere special like Grandma though?"

"Well yes," Lindsay nodded. "It always has lovely flowers and teddies and pictures."

"Can I go? Will you take me?"

"Sure," Lindsay nodded with a smile. "Next time we go to Montana, you and I will go and see my friends. Maybe you can draw them each a picture. I bet they'd like that."

"Yeah!" Lucy's little eyes lit up with excitement. "They would!" She paused for a minute and looked down to the picture she still held in her hands. "Mommy?"

"Lucy." Lindsay smiled.

"Can I have this?"

"Can you have what?"

"The picture of you?" She fluttered her eyelashes and smiled expectantly at Lindsay.

Lindsay pursed her lips together and watched as Lucy looked down to the picture. Lucy ran her fingertip over Lindsay's fourteen year old face and smiled before turning back to face her mother. Lindsay smiled and felt a warm feeling bubbling within her. "I don't see why not," she said softly. "Maybe we can go out today and pick out a frame so you can keep it in your room."

"YAY!" Lucy squealed excitedly.

"What are we squealing at?" Danny's voice sounded at the door. He stood with a smile stretching across his face and a tray of food in his arms.

"Danny, what's this?"

"Breakfast in bed," Danny smiled as he moved towards the bed and placed the tray at the foot of their bed.

"I had no idea." Lindsay smiled. "I was too wrapped up in talking to my little munchkin."

"Good job, kiddo." Danny winked as he high fived their daughter.

"Whoa, what?" Lindsay blinked. "Good job? Why, what did she do?"

"She came in here to distract you." Danny smirked. "Clearly she did a good job."

"You did?" Lindsay blinked in the direction of her daughter.

Lucy nodded brightly. "Yep, Daddy told me to come and be cute."

"You're definitely cute." Lindsay shook her head in shock. "You need to hear what she had me tellin' her about." Lindsay implored in Danny's direction.

"I can only imagine." He mused, as he offered her a napkin and the knife and fork he'd placed on the tray for her. "Bon appetite, Mommy."

"I love you guys," Lindsay smiled as she shovelled some eggs onto her fork. As she raised it to her mouth, she saw out of the corner of her eye that Lucy's mouth had dropped open too and she was currently looking expectantly towards the fork. Sighing heavily and shaking her head, Lindsay changed the direction of her fork and offered to Lucy. "Go on, here… take them."

"Yessss!" Lucy hissed as she accepted the eggs from Lindsay's fork. "Thanks Mommy." She mumbled as she chewed the scrambled eggs. "I love Daddy's eggs."

"Yeah well Daddy loves it when you chew with your mouth closed…" Danny quipped. "And Daddy also loves it when you let Mommy eat her breakfast."

"But I hungry!"

"You ate already!" Danny implored.

"What did you make her?" Lindsay asked as she alternated scooping eggs into her mouth before offering the same to Lucy, who happily accepted.

"The same as I made you!" he growled at his daughter who was conveniently ignoring him and munching on her eggs.

"Well, these are delicious," Lindsay leant forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Thank you… and I love you."

"I love you too." He whispered against her lips. Although he had only intended on pressing another soft, slight kiss to her lips, somehow they ended up getting lost in one another and Lindsay only stirred from the kiss when she felt the fork being tugged from her fingertips.

"Here, have it." Lindsay rolled her eyes as she placed the tray onto Lucy's lap. "Can I at least have my toast?"

"I… I wanted an eggy sandwich." Lucy pouted.

"Here," Lindsay sighed taking a half a slice of toast and folding it over with eggs sandwiched in-between the bread. "Happy now?"

Lucy nodded, shoving the eggs and toast into her mouth happily.

"I swear, that kid." Danny muttered as he shuffled closer to Lindsay. "You'd give her your last crumb."

"It doesn't matter," Lindsay smiled at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. She pressed her lips against his softly and melted into their shared kiss. "She's happy, I'm happy… you're happy. That's all that matters." She said, pressing her forehead against his.

"Are you?" he pressed. "Are you happy?"

Lindsay nodded instantly. "I've had a massive weight lifted from my shoulders. It's done with now." She said softly. "No more tears, worrying and… well, you know."

"I know." He confirmed as he brushed his nose against hers.

"Listen, about that… baby, I'm so sorry for-"

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He cut her off before pressing his lips to her's softly, cutting off any protests she may have had. "For better, for worse, remember?"

"Vaguely. I meant to say as well, thanks for last night. You made me feel... better." She smiled with a twinkle in her eye, hoping he took from that what she wanted to. She furrowed her brow as she looked at him. While she expected a cheeky smile in response, she found a blank stare, directed down towards their daughter. She followed his gaze and she realised exactly why he was staring at their daughter in terror. Their daughter was currently licking the plate clean. Silently Danny turned to her and shook his head. And from that, Lindsay knew exactly what he was saying. '_she's your daughter'. _

Clearing her throat and ridding her face of a smirk, Lindsay took a deep breath. "Listen up, little mini Montana, I was raised on a farm and I don't lick my plates Lucy Messer, so if I don't do that, you definitely don't do that, got it?"

Lucy nodded, a blush circling the apples of her cheeks. "Sorry Mommy, they were just really good."

"I wouldn't know." She smirked at her daughter. "Listen, go wash your hands… and face." She said, swiping away the ketchup that littered her daughter's button nose. "and then go get dressed."

"Why, where are we goin'?" She questioned.

"I don't know yet," Lindsay shrugged. "We'll figure it out when we get there. How does that sound?"

Lucy furrowed her brow and hopped down from the bed, mildly confused at her mother's vagueness.

"What time are you in work?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm not." He smiled. "We got the day off together."

"We did?"

Danny nodded. "Mac gave me the day; Hawkes wanted some extra money too so…"

"What do you wanna do then?" she smiled brightly.

"Well, I wanna just lie in bed with you all day." He said softly, pushing the empty tray down to the bottom of the bed so he and Lindsay could snuggle together on the bed. I wouldn't mind a repeat of last night actually if I'm honest... But I get the impression that's not gonna fly what with us having Lu, so I dunno."

"I don't know," Lindsay said dreamily, laying her head down on Danny's bare chest. "Surely she'd enjoy snuggling quietly and not saying a thing all day, right?"

"Oh definitely." Danny smirked. "She wouldn't last fifteen seconds if she didn't have food in front of her."

"There's no denying she's our kid." Lindsay smirked. "How about we go for a walk and see where we end up. The playground or something; go get ice cream or dessert somewhere."

"Yeah," Danny shrugged. "Listen Linds… before she comes back in... I just want you to know that if you need to talk about what you had to go through when you were there, you know I'm here for you, right? I'm always right here," he said, pressing a hand against her hip and turning her so that she was facing him. "I mean it, baby. I know you talked to me about some things before we got distracted with a little... somethin' something' last night but...Don't bottle things up, what you saw is pretty big and I don't want you to think that you're protecting me by keeping it to yourself. I've seen a lot worse."

"I know." She smiled softly. "And I promise that when the time comes, the right time comes… we'll talk about it. Just… let me process everything first okay? We'll get there… just like we always do. I'm happy with what I told you last night. You know all that you need to know."

Lindsay said, pressing a kiss to his jawline. "And while we're on the topic, thank you… for well… being you. There aren't many husbands that would willingly hold the fort down and not ask any questions about their wife disappearing off to watch an execution of the man that murdered her friends."

"Well, not all husbands love their wife as much as I love you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Linds."

"I know." She smiled.

"And anyway, what's our life without a few bumps?"

"So long as they are bumps we get through together, they can come at us."

"There ain't any other way we deal with bumps, babe." He winked at her. "Alright, I'm gonna go shower… wanna come?"

Lindsay wiggled her eyebrows playfully before shaking her head. "No, I'm gonna go salvage myself some breakfast."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Danny sighed as stood and removed his sweats. He rubbed the side of his neck in defeat. "I tried."

"Hey," she said, standing up and looping her arms around his neck. "To know that you put all that effort into making me breakfast in bed was enough for me. And to watch our little girl enjoy it as much as she did… that's just a bonus."

He pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Well, I'll be in the shower for like fifteen minutes if you change your mind."

She swatted his ass as she headed off in search in food and he in turn headed for the shower. It wasn't lost on her how lucky she was to have such a loving, supportive and caring husband. They'd had to deal with mountains more than other couples she knew had to. The things they'd dealt with would have been destructive for other couples, but it seemed that what they had been through only strengthened the love they had for one another.

As she dropped a cinnamon-raisin bagel into the toaster and grabbed the butter from the fridge, she leant against the counter top as she felt tears of relief rising in her eyes. She was finally, for the first time in her adult life, completely and utterly free from her previous burden. It was a pleasant, elated feeling that she'd never truly felt before. It was a feeling she intended on treasuring for a long, long time.

"Hey Mommy, do I look pretty?" Lucy asked, twirling in a floral dress and white leggings.

"You look gorgeous, my little princess."

Lucy giggled as she stood up on her socked tip-toes to see over the counter top. "What you makin'?" she inquired.

"A bagel." Lindsay laughed. "Why, you want some?"

Lucy licked her lips and blinked. "Can I?"

Sighing heavily, Lindsay nodded as she pulled out the barstool for Lucy to sit in. She grabbed an extra plate and waited for the toaster to pop up with the two halves.

"You know Mommy, I like it when you share food with me," Lucy giggled.

"Oh yeah?" Lindsay smiled, placing one half on her plate and the other on Lucy's pink plastic plate.

"Yeah." Lucy nodded. "It makes me feel like we are bestest friends, like me and Taylor at school."

Lindsay smiled as she felt the emotions rise in her throat. She decided against saying anything and instead buttered the bagel for her and her daughter. She placed the halved bagel in front of her daughter and leant across the counter, looking at her intently as she ate her own half.

"You know what, Lucy?" Lindsay asked mid bite.

"What?" she mumbled.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you."

"Do you love me as much as Daddy?"

"I love you in a different way." Lindsay said. "I love Daddy because he's my husband. Before you came into my life, I didn't love anyone as much as I love you. You are the most special, wonderful, sweet person in my life."

"But what about Daddy?" Lucy blinked.

"Oh, he's special, wonderful and sweet too." Lindsay smiled. "But you're my little girl and that's a kind of love I'd never really be able to explain to you until you have your very own little girl or little boy… which is a long, long, long way away." Lindsay quickly added. "And I just want you to know that no matter what, I'll always love you."

"I love you too, Mommy." Lucy smiled as she arched her head towards Lindsay and puckered her lips for a kiss. Lindsay pressed a soft kiss to her daughter's greasy lips and licked away the cinnamon and butter residue that resided on her lips. "Go wipe your mouth off, messy chops." Lindsay laughed.

She watched as Lucy jumped down from the barstool with a smile on her face as she skipped to the bathroom so she could wash her face. She crossed paths with Danny in the hallway and hugged his leg tightly, making Danny stumble and Lindsay giggle. Danny glanced down at their daughter and swept her up into his arms and pressed a soft, little kiss to her lips before wiping his lips. "Ugh, did you eat again?"

"I ate mommy's bagel." Lucy giggled. "I'm washing my face now. You smell clean, Daddy."

"I am clean." He smirked as he dropped Lucy to the floor, making her squeal. "Go wash up, Mommy's gonna get dressed and we'll go. Think you can stop eating while she gets dressed?"

"Probably." Lucy shrugged as she skipped off.

"I swear to god," Danny muttered as he headed into the living room. "You spoil that kid."

"I love her." Lindsay protested as she collected their plates and dropped them in the sink. "I can't help it."

"I know." Danny rolled his eyes as he met her in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her neck and in turn, she wrapped her arms around his waist. "So, I see you've got a smile on your face." Danny observed. "What you thinkin' about?"

"I'm just happy." She shrugged. "I feel lighter, free almost. I don't feel any more burdens or pressure. I just feel like… me."

"That's good." Danny said, pressing a long, lingering kiss to her forehead. "Because it's about time you felt free. He's had too much of a hold on you for too long."

Lindsay nodded contemplatively. "I'm a bird." She smirked.

"If you're a bird, I'm a bird." Danny finished.

"Can I be a bird too?" Lucy asked, trying to wiggle in between her parents.

"Did you wash your face?" Both Danny and Lindsay questioned in sync, earning a giggle from their little girl.

"Yes." She sighed as she finally made her way in between their makeshift cocoon they'd created. "So can I be a bird too?"

"Let's all be birds." Danny smiled as he picked Lucy up so she could be included in their hug. "Let's be free birds without a care in the world."

"Sounds good to me." Lindsay smiled. She exhaled and felt herself close the door on what had been the last twenty two years. Sure, she'd bring some things with her through the now closed door, like the memories of her friends and the strength she'd developed within herself. The bad memories; the nightmares that had kept her up at night and the burden that had been placed upon her shoulders… they'd be locked firmly behind the door.

Finally, and with the two most special, treasured people in her life, she'd be as free as a bird. And there was nothing that filled her with more joy than that.

She was free at last.

* * *

**and there we have it, the final chapter in this little story. The first half of the chapter was actually going to be a stand alone story once upon a time, but when I heard that they were doing a Lindsay's going back to Montana story (which coincidentally I titled the document that housed this story) I thought it might be a good idea to keep a hold of it because it might come in handy, and come in handy it did. It was the perfect way to wrap this story up in a nice, neat little bow. **

**i really, sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know there's not many of you guys out there anymore. BUT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE STILL HERE WITH ME, LET'S STAND STRONG! **

**I'm going to go and tweak the next story I have for you guys. I'm questioning whether or not to post it as a big long one-shot or whether to make it a multi-chap. i'll discuss with fred and we will get back to you. **

**in the meantime, thank you for reading this story. I hugely appreciate you taking the time to read my dl ramblings. hahaha. if you have a spare minute, drop me a message and let me know what you thought. it would be, as ever, hugely welcomed and appreciated. **

**and that's it for now folks - until next time ;) **


End file.
